Everything I ever needed to know I learned from watching Babylon 5

                                                                

                                                               

     The universe runs through the complex interweaving of energy, matter, and enlightened self interest.  
     The avalanche has started. It's too late for the pebbles to vote.  
     When you become obsessed with the enemy, you become the enemy.  
     You are not ready for immortality.  
     Ivanova is God.1 
     Sooner or later, everybody comes to Babylon 5.  
     Don't give away the homeworld.  
     The only good na'ka'leen is a dead na'ka'leen.  
     The future isn't what it used to be.  
     Do not try the patience of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger  
     Understanding is a three edged sword. (Your side, their side, and the truth) 
     You have always been here.  
     Stay close to the Vorlon.  
     Watch out for Shadows, they move when you aren't looking at them.  
     This will end in fire.  
     Always make your opponent think you know more than you really know.  
     Damnation is a small enough price to pay for immortality.  
     We are already in far greater jeopardy than you can possibly imagine.  
     The Psi-Corps is your friend. Trust the Corps.  
     If you go to Z'Ha'Dum, you will die.  
     Follow orders from the Commander in Chief, and respect the chain of command.  
     Know where your orders come from.  
     Greatness is never appreciated in youth, Called pride in midlife, Dismissed in old age and reconsidered in death.  
     There is always choice. We say there is no choice only to comfort ourselves with a decision we have already made.  
     Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.  
     TRAITORS CAN'T HIDE  
     If you are in front of a Minbari and you value your life, BE SOMEWHERE ELSE!  
     You can get more with a kind word and a 2x4 than you can with a kind word alone.  
     The only thing more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narns is a single angry Narn with the key.  
     The enemy of my enemy is my friend.  
     Bad guys make a very agreeable Thump! when they hit the floor.  
     ...but do not thump the book of G'Quon. It is disrespectful.  
     Vorlon tavutna chog!  
     Don't spend so much time outside your body that you forget where it is.  
     Remember to dust yourself one in a while.  
     Whatever you do, do not stray from the path.  
     Claim victory in your heart, and the universe will follow.  
     ZOG!  
     A darkness carried in the heart cannot be cured by moving the body from one place to another.  
     The universe is already mad. Anything else would be redundant.  
     Some of us must be sacrificed if all are to be saved.  
     Always know what you want.  
     Treasure each moment because you will never have them again.  
     Fasten, then zip.  
     Never get involved in your own life. It's too much trouble.  
     A lack of information can kill you.  
     Quite a bit of alcohol will put any keeper to sleep.  
     Always check for Narns before entering an elevator.  
     Only an idiot fights a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the kingdom of idiots would fight a war on twelve fronts.  
     Always bet on stupidity.  
     After all, it's the thought that counts.  
     The war never ends...  
     When the Vorlon goes to ground... worry!  
     Sometimes, peace is just another word for surrender.  
     ... and secrets have a way of getting out.  
     A true artist is never appreciated in his own time.  
     ...Or his own cellblock.  
     Enthusiasm, sincerity, genuine compassion, and humor can carry you through any lack of prior experience with...high numerical value.  
     Insanity is part of the times. You must learn to embrace the madness. Let it fire you.  
     Never hand someone a loaded gun unless you know where they're going to point it.  
     Share your second favorite thing in the universe with a friend.  
     Time is infinite. You are finite. Zathras is finite. This... is wrong tool.  
     Properly manipulated six foot long genitalia can beat an inside straight.  
     There's always a BOOM tomorrow.  
     Nobody listens to Zathras, although we really should.  
     Some favors come with too high a price.  
     Take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.  
     Don't mess with the Post Office.  
     You do not want to know about terror.  
     The only way to understand the battle is to understand the language.  
     If you see something this big with eight legs coming, kill it before it develops language skills.  
     You can never go wrong with garters.  
     We are starstuff. We are the universe, trying to figure itself out.  
     The universe knows what it's doing.  
     You should change your lock code frequently.  
     Wear loose shoes and don't forget how to dance.  
     What makes us human is that we have so many ways to feel pain.  
     Doing the right thing for the wrong reason will only get you into trouble.  
     Watch your back!  
     You cannot run away from your own heart, not even in space.  
     No race can be truly intelligent without laughter  
     Similarity is not a requirement for the exercise of compassion.  
     The war is never over.  
     The past tempts us, the present confuses us and the future frightens us.  
     You have forgotten something.  
     Keep this up and you won't have a world to defend.  
     Don't say anything too sensitive over the links or in front of Vorlon spacecraft.  
     The man in between is searching for you.  
     You're not saying what you're saying. You're not saying what you're thinking. As a matter of fact, you're not thinking what you're thinking.  
     A stroke from the brush does not guarantee art from the bristles.  
     There is nothing political about the truth.  
     Faith Manages.  
     Believe what you will until experience teaches you otherwise.  
     Don't go down easy and don't go down alone!  
     Don't open a jump point within another jump point unless you are in a -very- fast ship.  
     The cap doesn't always come with the PPG.  
     All important books should have an index.  
     Never sit in the Captain's chair unless you are in command.  
     Fight enemies without becoming like them.  
     There are always too many of them and not enough of us.  
     There's Nothing like a level playing field to ruin a Psi Cop's day.  
     When you're about to do something very unwise, it is tradition to ask your friends if they are ready.  
     Try not to drool on the controls.  
     Shut up and eat it.  
     In order for all to survive, some must be sacrificed.  
     The best way to understand someone is to fight him, make him angry.  
     Thinking flowers is good, giving flowers is better.  
     Always plant a lie inside a truth, makes it easier to swallow.  
     Good news can wait. Bad news will refuse to leave.  
     Forgiveness is a hard thing, but something ever to strive for.  
     Look for the best in every situation, or else you will end up like Ivanova.  
     What is, is. Opinion does not matter.  
     If you have had a very sad life you will probably have a very sad death ...but at least there is symmetry.  
     We are all Kosh.  
     Destiny awaits.  
     Humans can be a very depressing people if turned down for dinner.  
     We do not know where the future will take us, but we know it will be born in pain.  
     Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter.  
     Someone should have labeled the future 'some assembly required'  
     Flesh is transitory, flesh is a prison, flesh is an instrument.  
     Our thoughts form the Universe; they always matter.  
     As you accumulate power, you lose friends.  
     Conspiracies require more than one person.  
     We all have a destiny.  
     Some favors come at too high a price.  
     Sometimes, its nice just to have the company.  
     One from three leaves one.  
     Our greatest failure is that we don't understand our own greatness.  
     Good and evil are relative.  
     If you are falling off a mountain, you might as well try to fly.  
     There is little more inherently dangerous than an offended Narn.  
     Everyone lies, the innocent lie because they don't want to be blamed for something they didn't do and the guilty lie because they don't have any other choice.  
     Somebody has to have some perspective around here.  
     Never start a conversation unless you know how it will end ...but always leave some room for disappointment.  
     No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever.  
     There is no greater need in the universe than the need for freedom.  
     Upon discovering that you have Feeders to the left, and Fools to the right, get a real job. 
     Tick you live Tock you die ,tick,tock,tick,tock,tick 
     You must accept death in order to live. 
     Humor is a subjective thing. 
     The duty of every prisoner is to escape. 
     Hauling ass is a very undignified position from which to command. 
     Skepticism is the language of the mind. 
     To appreciate life, life must be short. 
     Embrace the illusion that love is eternal. It may be the greatest gift our race has ever seen. 
     If you cannot say what you mean, you cannot mean what you say. 
     The details are everything. 
     Patience is also a weapon when used properly. 
     What isn't about ideology? 
     Evolution must be served. 
     Embrace the new: growth through pain, struggle conflict and war. 
     There is only chaos and evolution/There is only order and obedience. 
     Now we must make our own magic. 
     Only those whose lives are brief can imagine that love is eternal. 
     Sometimes the best choice is to not to choose at all.  
     The truth can set you free, Or kill you... 
     Sometimes the correct choice is not to choose. 
     It's an imperfect universe, none of us get what we really want. 
     If your going to have delusions, you might as well go for the really satisfying ones. 
     Don't say "Aw, Hell" on the bridge of a ship with a Minbari crew. 
     Some situations you must understand your way out. 
     We will arrive when we arrive and we will have the weapons that we have. 
     What is past is prologue, but what is past is also sometimes the future.The past is sometimes also the future. 
     There is only one thing in the universe worse than the shadows: reporters 
     Understanding is not required, only obediance. 
     Never start a fight, but always finish one. 
     The enemy is fear.  The enemy is ignorance.  The enemy is the one who tells you that you must hate that which is different.  Because, in the end, that hate will
     turn on you, and that same hate will destroy you. 
     The world is changing everyday.  The only question is, who's doing it? 
     Eat drink and be merry for tommorrow we die. 
     Mere chains cannot restrain a determined Narn. 
     Putting a religious zealot into a position of military and political power is *never* a good idea. 
     You do not understand, But you will.  

And Finally...

     All of this is for nothing unless we go to the stars.  

Footnotes: 
    1 Just kidding about the God part.